There is the romance of mother- or parenthood. And there is the reality. One of the realities is about 1 in 7 women nationally experience symptoms of postpartum depression (PPD), in some states the average is as high as 1 in 5 women. This recent series begins to chronicle the emotions surrounding new motherhood and PPD - feelings of suffocation, exhaustion, incompetence, sadness, anger, numbness, and disconnection from one's body. My work holds the space between love, sadness, and silence while attempting to reconcile all the tears during what society says are supposed to be the happiest days of my life.